Dreamily

Scary scary!! After such a long period without stepping into classroom, I had actually completed 2 modules (crossing my fingers and toes hard!).

Had to complete 2 reports and 2 graded exams within 3 months.. It was a tough life. Juggling with work, school, friends, family among other stuffs!

With help from some friends, I was able to complete my reports with passing grades. Although I could have done better if I had started early and researching more! It was the checking and re-structing of the reports with them, enable me to get the scores. Objective is the word that been going round my brain (which went on a strike!) Had went on a mood swing during this period..

And I got worse during the week before my exams. Slightly stuffs would just set me off.. especially those who are the closest to me.  Normally a calm and peaceful person, now had become irritable, hot-tempered and having a sharp-tongue waiting to be lashed out.

Almost had a nevous breakdown, but with the support of some friends, it was over. Although things have settled down, in another 3 months down the road, history might repeat itself until i completed the whole course!

Last nite while I was packing my stuff, in preparation of my next modules, I took a walk down the memory lane.

Yes, at this young age, I reminiscing the past of would-be, could-be, might-be…..

Reading the cards and letters I had kept all those years, there was a bittersweet feelings. The promises broken, the fading friendships. One of the sentences struck me deeply.. It was "handle my heart with care’… and in the end, it was mine who was carelessly handled. Ouch!

Touching the gifts that are treasured and keep in mint conditions (I am an abusive person to my personal assets), not willingly to use them so that they will remain as the day I had received the items.  Memories flooded back.

How often had i hoped to change history, but changing them is changing who I am today. Would I want to change the choices I had make, choosing another choices? Taking the easier way out?

I doubt I would really make the changes even if the chances are presented to me. By doing that, I would not be able to live my life to the fullest as what I am doing now..

Although memories are what I have, but at least the road taken was well trodden.