Dreamily

Wat does one week, one person, 3 times, means? It means that a good friend of mine (you know who you are) had cancelled our gathering last min… How late was it?

First time, it was almost near to the meeting time which was cancelled

Second time, it was abt 45mins away from our meeting time

Third time, it was abt 15-30 or was it on the dot of the meeting time.

Being buddies, the first time, well, i accepted his explaination as he needed to meet his GF after a quarrel. Second time, he needed to go home.. And lastly, the 3rd time, he meeting his GF again.

As a friend, should i allow a friend to treat me in such a way? 3 times in a row.. In a week… Although having a partner.. does it means that our friends can forsake us? I had even open the invite to his GF during the third occassion.. As we were celebrating a mutal friend’s b-day!! With an open mind with the first 2 times that he could not make it, but the fact was that, arrangements were made way before hand. Booking were made.

Yes, a partner is someone to be treasured.. But wat abt friends? Quality or Quantity times are more important. Nowsaday, friendships are easily bonded yet oso easily break. WHY? it is the effort of keeping in touch. It take both hands to clap.

If one side of the hand is willing, but the other is not, we are not able to create any music at all.. even by clapping of hands, something which are so simple. Needless to say, i used to make all the effort to maintain a friendship with a friend so long ago, but it was sad.. cos my efforts was wasted.. In the end, in order to be happy, and to embrace the close friends i had then, i let her go..

Noted my words ‘the close friends i had then’, it is sad to say, as we matured, our thinking, our wants, our needs has all changed.. for better for worse, it is a big question..

Anyway, at the end of the day, when one is lonely, who do you look for?? your partner or friends? I am blessed with lots of friends, friends who are always there for me, even when i am in or in bet relationships. Cos they are the ones who keep you in focus. Whom have seen you in ur worse stage…

My point is, partner is important but friends are oso important too.. dun just drop them when your partner wished to meet you. Can bring your partner along or stand firm..

Just imagine, at times when there is a all-gals or all-guys nite, how do you bring your partner along? Or do you forgo the bonding? How do you balance?

It’s a 8 days full of celebration. Well, not exactly. But was all packed into 3 evenings and 1 afternoon…

It was a crazy period.. which will end this sat…  Well, although there will be one which i will miss the celebration.. But it is for good clause.. cos i will be a lightbulb.. (since when i am not one?? ;=P)

The first celebration, was at settlers cafe.. 4 of us with 2 cakes and lots of laughter! The first game we played was Risk, mission mode. Each of us were armed with our little soldiers and using a dice to determine the fate of our soldiers… Imagine that.. wat if our fate is determine by the roll of the dice or dices.. or watever.. tat’s a gamble.. but since when life is not a gamble?

Each time when everyone of us is at a fork, a juction, a crossroad, or when there is not even a route, we have to make our decision, forecast the way how we are going to map out our lives.. But it’s like a ripple.. the moment a decision is cast, it affect the surrounding.. yet many times, although the decision does not turn out the way we like them to be, occassionally the end-result might be wat we had wanted or the results might even exceed our expectations!!

So, back to the game of Risk… among the thorns, there was the ‘Rose’ of the nite.. The rose of the night, well, was the only person who know abt warfare.. unlike the thorns.. thus onwards, we tried our best.. to conquer our quest. It was a game where pouts, dares, bravery of the little soldiers comes about.. when one draws, win or lose.. All by the turn of the dices… We increased our soldiers at every turn then we lost them or the land by cold calculation.. IS tat how warfare is abt too??

And since it was a mission quest, one of the player had already won the game but had mistaken the quest due to the wording of "OR". She had tot that she had to complete both missions.. Nevertheless, onwards we played the other games.

The next one was something like ‘heartattack’. Each of us had 9 pieces of cards… which we had to swap to anyone and collect a set of cards with the same pictures!! The first one was hilarious… The atmosphere was tensed as we were trying to accummulate and be the first to get the full set of the cards.. So when the first person completed and placed his hand on the table, all of us scramped not to be the last.. As usual, i am the slow one.. so my hand was on the top..

Without much warning, the hand had come down and hit mine… Well.. just for the fun of it.. it wasnt painful.. BUT here came the reality.. The rose who won the first round.. He LACKED of one card to completed his set.. OMG..

For the next few rounds, we ensured that those who won, show all their complete set of cards. Then there was one round.. which i was trying to gather 8 pieces of cards before exchanging the last odd piece out.. Finally when i got my 8 cards, i was a little too late.. cos there was one who got her card completed.. keke and the one whose cards i am keeping, well.. was… (you can understand how the person felt)

Not only that, there was one round which i was keeping 4 cards and another friend was also keeping the same set of cards, in the end, it was the other 2 friends managed to complete their set.. :=P

Follow by that, it was pictionary or wat i called it, ‘the draw draw game’ kekeke.. by my description, u can guess wat it is abt.. pairing ourselves up, it was sanz n me, jane and andr. Oh yes.. these are the people who were at the settlers cafe..

Once again, the dice is need and to determine our fates!! For the higher the dice no is, the faster we hit the jackpot.

With this game, there was many table hitting periods, laughting out loud and sharp (me only hor) and quite a no. of times of ‘how to draw this’ or ‘this thing dun look like wat it is suppose to be’ or similar wordings…

For an instance, there was a time when we need to describe a word related to ‘dog’.. thus, one of us, using the reverse thinking.. cos her partner wasnt able to speak out the word dog, she drew a ‘cat’ hoping to link the word for her partner.. well, sadly.. they were not able to guess it in time.. Neither can i remember if anyone of us guess the word correctly..

Thus, using the same theory, that partner of hers, drew something that was the opposite of wat the next (or was it some games after…) However, it did not work!! it was another round of laff.. at one another!

It makes me wonder.. how differently our mind works.. how it changes and responsed to each situations…

For me, i am the one who is always the slow one to catch one. BUT for most, they are able to adapt to the switching of mind.. (the minds hor..not other things!!)

Perhaps, it might be a better things, not to think too hard! :P 

Exactly one week ago, i had a lost of control of myself, and since then, my feelings were hard to understand…

It started with just a novel from the library. As you see, it was not borrowed by moi. It belonged to a friend’s friend.. And it was long overdue… Somehow the novel ended in my hands. I was supposed to return to my friend so that she could return to her friend.

But things did not work out tat way, for the whole of 3 days which i wanna meet up with her n her friends, i was working late.. when i reached office, it was early in the morning .. when i left office.. most of singaporean were sound alseep.. thus that’s how i wasnt able to catch up with my friends. then I asked my parent to help me return. But somehow, my parent had a changed of plan.. In the end i wasnt able to return the novel. That was 2 sat ago.. I recieved smses from this friend of mine. But due to the timing i recieved it, i wasnt able to reply back cos i was having my long-waited crabby dinner.

I keyed the whole sms, telling her how come.. but the moment my crabby came.. all was forgotten.. My Fault. cos after the whole incident, then i realised that my sms wasnt sent out.. No point of giving excuses.

However what frustrated me was the sillyness of wat my friend’s friend did.. First, she called me.. but i wasnt able to hear my phone rang.. thus when i returned her call, asking who called (since it was not a registered no), going thru all the craps of being polite. The reply i got, well, was just ‘nobody called you’ Fine, perhaps that’s a wrong no.. Which i can fully understand.. cos i often wanna call my colleague but somehow, a no was dialled wrong..

So, ignoring it, i went on my way.. It was supposed to be a happy outing with my god-daughter n family. Yet we were all bitten by sandflies and jellyfish..

Then came the sms.. from the same no. that’s when things started to boil for me. In short, the msg was that, ‘if she dun see the novel to be returned by so and so, i would kept it so she would report as lost, then she would deduct the money from my friend (as i paid in advance for some stuff we got).’

I was so pissed off.. In wat way could she do such a thing.. if she wan take money from me, she should come to me directly instead of going thru the roundabouts! Then why should she said that nobody called when i return the call? Even if she was anxious abt the novel, must she hide behind my friend back and do such a stuff??

This is a case of nobody’s fault and everyone fault. that sat nite, i returned the novel to the library. As it was auto, sometime the books might slipped thru the first scanning.. so how come she cant be patient to wait for the second scanning to see if the novel had been return?

I had once return a novel yet in the end, i have to pay a fine.. cos somehow the book was lost.. thus.. wat can i do oso.. since the data wasnt captured?!

I am a person who is slow to boil (in anger) but once i reached the boiling point, things will turn ugly.. Which it did in this case.

I wont take such a crap from a stranger.. Even when i was ard with this fellow, i smiled and greet her at times.. which she would then return the greeting.. nver would she even smiled at me.. Fine, diff person behave differently.

Thus, I feedback to my friend. When i was in anger.. that was bad of me! Cos sometimes in anger, u tends to say things in a harsher tone…

In the end… with smses to n fro.. and i know somehow, my frien, being caught in the middle oso dunno wat to do to..

Now, things are in a standstill.. cos i cant go and see my friend, cos by doing so, i will see her friend. I wanna sms her or to call her.. but dunno where to start. nor do i know how to start.. that’s the worse of it..

Imagine becos of someone whom u are not close with, is the cause of something serious.

Perhaps it is the lack of communication skills towards one person to the other or it is the way one expects the society to behave.

I am the type that a ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ will solve 99% of the problems.. The ‘old-school’ type.. one who expect gentlemen to open doors, etc.. I’m not weak, and in my nature of industry, nasty words are very common.. So in this situation, i felt queasy, felt being threatened, felt being taking advantage of.. so i take care of myself, i feedback to my friend.

Am i in the wrong? or the words i used was too strong? or should i silently take wat others throws at me?

Everyone has their own stress and have their own method to release stress.. but is it okay for them to release their own stress upon others? or should they use certain means to make others do things in the way they prefer?

IF so, how can our society be more graceful? be more friendly?

How many of us have moved forward? Without looking back or comparing history?

How has the past form us? or has the past crippled us? How can we be strong while facing problems? Problems which comes from all different colors, sound and scents?

We have to place our burdens down occasionally so that we can rest for awhile. Or at times, the burdens can be shoulder by our loved ones and friends.

We are humans, not machines. We feel, we think, we forecast, we anticipate. But most of all, we use our hearts. That wat make us different. We have emotions.

And these emotions make us do silly things. Things that our brains told us that it’s not possible. But we keep on hoping. Yet are we decieving ourselves? Hoping things will turn out as we wish them to be? Or should we face reality? The reality of giving up hopes and dreams? The ideal partner? The dream home/car?

Wat are important? The relationship between friends or the material wants?

Have we come to the point tat we hve become greedy and cant be satisfy with the simples needs and wants?

Has the past make us this way? or the surrounding enivornment form us in this position? Who can be sure of their important wants and needs?

Are the past or the past events make us unable to move forward? To struck in the same positions? That have frozen us in the same spot?

When is the right time to get go and move forward? Wat if by moving forward, and the immediated event we have been holding on to, has change its circumstances and went into a bright light? Are we going to curse ourselves for not having enough faith for holding on or will we be hoping for a brighter light at the end of the tunnel?

To perserve or not? To let it go or not?

‘flying a kite is to know when to let loose and when to tighten’ But only when we learn, then could we know how to let loose n tighten. But are we going to take the chance and learn the exprience?

How many of you females for the sake of beauty goes under the knife, the jabs, the diet and all sorts of other stuffs.. Just to look beautiful

Does the beauty (handsome) means so much these days? When were the days which one goes for inner beauty? Does one appearance that important that we have forgotten to look inside their skin?

I has a friend go went for some treatment, which will make her look like she has sunburnt all over her face for a couple of days. And will having that, she has to endure discomforts too. Should we do such a thing to ourselves?? She is already a pretty lady with long hair, fair and smooth skin.  She’s like a fire which attaches the moths or bees to her.. (Oh no.. all flocked to her.. nothing left liao.. :=P)

Then again i has friends who go on diets, all sort of diets.. from straving, to taking supplements to extreme workouts.. I have seen them losing weights. But the effects is short term.. And most of them are not plump at all. They are just average u and me. Why would they do such a thing? Although i have tried a diet before, i had given up 1/3 of the course.. for one, i cant resist the real food (including chocolates) nor can i take the responsiblity to make my health poor. Thus the best way is to do moderate sports and eating healthy. There are times i do feast alot, but have cut down.

Just last sunday, there was an incident. (A friend of mine witness the whole situation) I was tied my sandal’s laces. Thus while bending down to get them tied properly, there was a group of Angmos walking past me.. which i dun even notice! They were looking at me tying laces with their mouths open, but when they walk past me they were shaking their heads…

Yes.. for all those who know.. i dun have a butt.. :=P so in this case, should i ‘fatten” up my butt?? or ….

However that’s not my dismay.. the worst part of myself which i dislike is my tummy.. cos no matter wat i did, i cant get rid of it. so should i go and suck them out with some beauty saloon, clinic.. etc? BUT the fact is, that’s me! i am living with it. not really bothered by people who said too much..

Others may said this, said that.. But in the end, perhaps, I could only say that we are our own worst enemies. We must love ourselves. That’s more important!

5 years ago, I celebrated my first Halloween.. and this year, i celebrated it again.

5 years ago, i started something. and tis year, it is time to let them loose. Can i do that?

There were ghosts that I had been carrying it for 5 years.. And it seems like yesterday. That nite was the first date, the beginning. For a year, things were smooth-sailing then came the heartbroken period.

From the heartbroken period to now, the ghosts still lingered. I thought they had gone to rest. But no. They were around. This time, it is to let the memories, especially the memories to die.

It was very silly of me to hold on to the memories, thinking the sweetness of them will make me happy. However the downside of it was that i was not able to let go of the ghosts completely. To let them rest, i must not thinking of the memories even. Would that make me more empty?

During this period, there were more ghosts. Even i did lead a happy times, it could be even better.. But i had grown.. grown stronger, wiser.

How many of you have ghosts in your cupboard, hearts, etc?? have you ever let them go completely. and start afresh?

Has the exprience make you wary of being caught in the same situation? Have you ever make the same mistakes again and again? Is the mistake worth making?

And the funny thing is that 5 years ago, I went for a holiday in Phuket. And today, i am planning a trip over again.. Both dates falls on the same period when i went 5 years back. Is everything fated? Or is this the end of the ghost? Is it a new beginning? Or would i bump onto a few ghosts over there? Will i be frightened to face the ghosts or will i be so strong that nothing will bring me down?

In this century, we can’t live without our mobile phones.. On the other hand, we cant live with it too…

Imagine, when your mobile phone breakdown, stolen, lost, etc.. you are in a lost world. A world which you are out of connection with loved ones, family, friends, etc.. You are afraid that someone might just called up while you are unconnectable. Important calls would be missed and opportunities were lost. Datas and contacts numbers are lost too.. You have to start to gather the lost information.. Letting friends know that your phone is lost, asking them to relay the msg all over the world so that one of the days, all the datas are retrieved. Or for the hardworking ones, they will store a backup somewhere. (I am the lazy one.. once my phone was stolen, i just gonna wait for my friends to call/sms me.. then  i had to repeat myself slightly more than a hundred times why their no. were no stored in my mobile, … ) ;=P Been thru the exprience should had taught me a lesson, yet, i dun backup my mobile, thinking it was indestructable..

One day, the one of the mobile which datas were kept died on me!! Cos i was too hard on it.. :p letting it getting knocks everywhere. Thus, the cycle of getting just the mobile nos of friends started again. This time round, with the help of MSN Messenger, i managed not to repeat myself too much.. haha.. just a posting of the header on MSN will do most of the job.

That’s how important mobile and IT are to us. The people of the modern world.

How different was it during the days with only telephones back then.. waiting for calls, we had to stay at home. During those periods, i was home-bound, or maybe i was too young to hang out too much.. :p Nevetheless, i was at friends’ place more often than not.

Then it came the era of PAGERS!! there were friends of mine whom envied me carrying one before it became common. BUT guess wat, it was my parents’ way of tracking my movement. That is the beginning of mobile communication but the end of freedom.

Then NOW, the freedom is almost gone. A phone call away, people know where you are, what you doing, etc… The freedom of being alone.. There are times when a person wish to be alone, dun have to speak to anyone, UNCONTACTABLE. But this era is gone. Unless you dont intent to answer to the call but by not answer the call, later in the day, you still have to return the call, rite? Or the smses..

Once again, imagine this situation, there are unknown no. or no. that are not familiar to you. Wat are the percentage of answering the call? Especially when the mobile are closely related to our career?

Recently, i had been recieving such calls/smses. Guess wat? Politely questioning the other party for information, they were trying to be funny. Asking who are they and where they are from, have you ever gotten answer like "I am stranger" or some names that you have never ever heard before? Well, not only that, they could ask you back "where are you staying". For me, to this extend, i think i am entertaining these people enough, i would angrily told them off, not to call or sms me again!

Did anyone playing a plank?  Did anyone keying any no. just to call the other party? Or someone taking revenge?

Why would i said such a stuff?? Well, one of the conversation i once had with a taxi driver, he told me that for most of the passengers whom placed a booking but failed to turn up, etc.. they would passed these no. around to their other colleagues drivers, especially those who drove at night. Then the plank calls would start.. So readers, just take note of this!!

The other lost of freedom is that when you are working, it is the interruption which they caused. One could be rushing for deadlines, but phones calls will still be coming in, whether you are in office or out for appointments, etc..

Althought those are the cons, there are pros too.

Wat if you are in other countries, and you need to call back home for assistance? that is fastest way to get help. Or should you miss some one? I have missed a friend so much that i almost called. The urge was great but somehow, it was not possible due to the time differences. Neither should i wake anyone up in the middle of the night.

The modern world of ours. Would you prefer the simple world of the past or this one?